Trading Green for Gold...a poem called "Autumn" by Amy Carmichael

Great Giver of my lovely green in Spring,

A dancing, singing green upon my tree,

My green has passed; I have no song to sing,

What will my Autumn be?

Must it be, though alive, as all but dead,

A heavy-footed and a silent thing?

Effectless, sapless, tedious, limited,

A withered vanishing?

Thus I; but He to me: Have I not shown

In Autumn woodland and on mountains fell,

The splendour of My purpose for Mine own?

Fear not, for all is well.

And thou shalt see, My child, what I will do,

For as thy lingering Autumn days unfold,

The lovely, singing green of hitherto

Will come to thee in gold.

Give No Oppurtunity

Ephesians 4:27
"and give no oppurtunity ro the devil."

Do not place into Satan's hand the chance to trip you up. This verse is talking abut how to properly be angry without being destructive. Are you the type of person who keeps anger inside until you blow up? Pretending nothing is bugging you until some small annoyance flips you over the edge? I am the queen of frustrated blow-ups, of the you-don't-understand, I hate this or that, and I can't believe you's! When I am not understood or when someone doesn't nip my frustration in the bud by recognizing it, it has caused mass chaos in my life and relationships.
Something I learned recently is that I should speak up. Not rudely, or harshly, or even out of frustration but in love, with patience, and kindness. When someone angers me, I need to go to the person who is (or appears to be) responsible. It's a hard thing to do. I feel that warm rush of blood, that nervous panic, the voice that tells me that I'm being ridiculous. One thing that is vital to understand is that you are an important person (this isn't a self-esteem pep talk). God gave you a mind that thinks and a heart that feels. Your thoughts and your feelings matter becuase your life matters to the Kindgom of God. This was a hurtle that I needed (need) to overcome in order for any relationship to grow deeper. If I don't do the confronting the anger won't magically go away and Satan will take his golden opportunity to create all sorts of problems. Problems that hinder me, hurt others, and keep God from working through me.
I need to be more consistent in NOT giving the devil opportunities to cause resentment in me by dealing with things right away.

Four Days

I recently got my packing list for the two glorious months I have been waiting for. Costa Rica is FOUR days away!!!

Romans 12:9

"Let love be genuine, abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good" (ESV)
"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." (NKJV)

I am by no means a greek scholar. However, I've heard and read that the word "hypocrisy" comes from a greek word that means to play a part, or to act in a drama. Its interesting that we need to be instructed to let our love be without hypocrisy. I have alot of ideas about what love looks like and how it feels to love. But is my love genuine? Is it an act? Do the people around me know that when I say "I love you" or when I do something that says it, that I am sincere? To say and do one thing while thinking and feeling something different is making a theatrical production out of my life. Life isn't a play. The world I live in is full of people who need true love...old, young, wealthy, poor, famous, unknown. If I spend my days playing the part of someone who loves, I will be so worn out. I'll be waiting for the audience to go home and for the curtain to close. It doesn't work like that.
I need to wake up each day with open eyes. With sincere, honest, heart-felt, heart-breaking love inside of me. Maybe then I can touch a life. I don't want to entertain with my outward show. I want to touch the world.

United

"But they cried with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together at him." Acts 7:57

They stopped their ears.
They refused to know.
They refused to accept who God was and what He was doing. The scariest part of this is that they were united in hatred and darkness in the same way that the early church was united in love and light.
Anger, offence, close-mindedness, rejection, violence, ignorance, hatred.
Thats what I see in these people.
It starkly contrasts the early church which is defined by Godliness. They were united in peace, earnest seeking, love, and brotherhood.
Today at Potter's Field Ranch I am blessed. I've been changed and grafted into a body of Christ followers. My flesh is prone to the same wickedness. But here, when I lash out, when I'm hard headed, they are patient. When I apologize, they forgive. I'm glad to have a place to grow. I'm glad that we here aren't united in anger, offence, closed-mindedness, rejection, violence, ignorance, or hatred. But in love and the fruits of the Spirit.

One day soon...

"And he said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." Acts 7:56

To Stephen the heavens were opened. To the other it was closed. Stephen alone could look around him and say "O death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting?" His walk of faith was over. He would soon die and it would all be gain. Beholding Christ was the prize.
I am one of those people to whom heaven is open. I need to live, unapologetically sharing the gospel, because there will be a day soon when I look up and see him. When my mouth says "Behold, I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God."

Gaze into Heaven

"But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God." Acts 7:55

This scene, when Stephen stands beholding God's glory and Jesus is glorious. Especially in contrast to the horizontal situation at the time.
The council that was standing infront of him was enraged and furios. Stephen didn't cower or feel sick with fear. He was far to enveloped in the heavenly scene that was before his eyes.
I might have seen the angry faces, the people bearing their teeth like snarreling dogs. I might have seen the grotesque distorted looks and the frantic outrage.
But Stephen did not. He saw the glory that surrounded the Father, he saw Jesus who stood near the Father's throne.
When I am frantically fearful, facing the crowd that hates me, in the heat of it with the enemy, I will not be tormented. I will look up and behold him who looks at me and sees his righteous child.